Honey Mag

From Brandy’s brother to Whitney’s boo and from the recording studio to the small screen, Ray J sure knows how to keep himself relevant … well, somewhat. If nothing else, Ray J has us crying from laughing so hard every week on the second season of his reality show. So we sat down with the singer-actor to discuss how he plans on changing his sex addicted image, his future in executive producing, and why he can’t stand Bossip.

HoneyMag: Excited for the second season of For the Love of Ray J?
Very excited. I’m looking forward to going on a journey and for people to take the journey with me. And the girls, that’s very important. And I’m looking forward to seeing what’s gonna pop off.

Why a second season?
Well, first off the ratings were unbelievably out of control. Especially for a dating show, you would think it would be cool, but our ratings were number one on all of cable except sports every week. So we broke records as far as VH1 and every network. And me and cocktail, we remained really good friends. I felt like she was the best girl in the house for me, but as far as longevity is concerned I felt like that’s what we were lacking so I’m back again for another shot at it.

Was the longevity lacking because of the platform you guys met on?
Sometimes, it’s like when were in the house were cool but when you get back into real life it’s hard to get back into the groove. For her, she was a go-go dancer so she loved to go out, dance and party. With new fame and new success and new money, it intensifies what you really like to do, so it was an opportunity for her to make a lot of money and get out there and be successful and put food on the table on her own. People make their own decisions and I wish her the best and I respect her for that.

Was it a mutual breakup? Or did she say “were in two different places.”
It was mutual. I would definitely say we both understood what we both had to do and it was mutual.

Are you content on how the second season ended?
I hope so.

That wasn’t very convincing.
This one right here is definitely one that a lot of people will try to put their hands on and see if they can guess it or read into it. There’s some twists and turns that keep people on their toes and excited about it. It’s gonna be something for people to see. I hope people like it.

When you’re deciding who you want to date, do you have certain concerns being Ray J. It’s not like you’re coming in and nobody knows your name. Are you afraid people are just getting on because they want that recognition or want to be in the industry?
I look at that and I try to focus and see who’s really in it for what. Once I feel that in my heart then I make a decision based on that. But I can truly say this time around they’ve been starting out shooting the show, they may start out a little skeptical without knowing what’s in store but after we got into the house, settled down and started to get to know each other, emotions are so high on this show. It was very emotional and very intense for all the girls.

Those girls are on it…
In the show, it really shows. It really shows pure connections and that we really wanna be there. And I think once the viewers see that it makes them connect with the show as well. No matter what they have to say, once you put it on, give me two minutes of your time on this show and I guarantee you’ll be locked in for all the episodes.

Bossip wrote about the show today.
Bossip goes hard. It’s cool though … I got Bossip. It’s all good though, I ain’t trippin because that’s a Kim K. website. I remember seeing a lot of exclusive content from her on the site so I know how the game goes, I been hating.

Wait, you think she has a hand in Bossip?
Do I think so? I know so. I’m looking at Bossip because she know I got my new site, RayJ.com, up and running. I don’t really f*ck with Bossip.

I mean they don’t really f*ck with you.
Yeah, f*ck Bossip. Bossip can eat a fat dick. I’m sorry for saying that. Is that inappropriate?

No, you can say it.
I’m so sorry, but that’s how I feel. I’ve always felt that way about Bossip. Hey, it’s not stopping my checks so they can go hard.

You brought up Kim…
I don’t even talk about the chick like that. I just said it because that’s just what really is on that site.

So you guys aren’t even cool anymore?
I’m cool with everybody in the game. I wish everybody success. I just feel like I got creative ideas that are at the forefront of the industry right now. All the doors are opened up, it feels good. I don’t bite my tongue though. I keep it 100.

Have you talked to her lately?
No we don’t speak but it’s all love.

There were rumors about you and Danger. I know that it’s not your child, but you were really supportive of her. It seems like you’re still really cool with all of the girls form the show.
Yeah, I have the utmost respect for everybody that worked on the show and that I became friends with. When I do my show, I respect all the women on my show. And even if we don’t connect on a one-on-one basis, I still wanna be cool.

So, you’re working on your new album, Radiation 2…
Actually I’m not working on it yet. I’m starting on it. I haven’t finished it. I wanna get with a really big machine for this one so they can match with VH1. BET is gonna be throwing for us in the future so I’m just waiting right now, making sure I get the right situation going.

What’s your plan for the album, in terms of the sounds you want and what you want to give to your fans?
Just straight R&B. This is my most emotional, strongest album vocally. Conceptually, I just feel like this is it for me and so I wanna make sure I do it right. I’m singing out of control and I’m really feeling all of the songs, so I just feel like it’s going to take a little bit of time to get everything together.

Have you fleshed out the concept yet?
No, I haven’t yet. But it will be pretty much reflecting my life and what I’ve been through and something that everybody can connect with and relate to at the same time.

Do you feel like you have some competition in the game?
I think there are a lot of great R&B artists out there right now, [but] I don’t think I have any competition because I’m in my own lane as far as who I am and what I’ve done and experienced. As long as I touch on that and stay true to myself and true to my art, I think it’ll stand out against the rest that are out there right now. I love everything out there. I really love the new Trey Songz that’s out right now. He’s pretty much the only one out there I’m messing with right now as far as R&B.
 He’s a real dude. He paid his dues. He worked really hard to get to where he’s at and now he has a very strong women fan base. They’re going crazy over him. I think he deserves that.

I just found out that that Snoop Dogg’s your cousin…
Yeah, Snoop’s my cousin — not first probably like third or fourth. Snoop’s gonna play a part in For the Love of Ray J 2, so be on the lookout. It’s gonna be crazy. We’re about to blast off. [Diddy and I] have two new projects were executive producing together, so we decided to just start it off by taking over Monday nights. I’m happy he brought me on and let some of my ideas come to life.

Is there more executive producing in the future for you?
Yeah, definitely. I have two new shows coming on VH1, one show coming on BET. I’m just trying to make sure all my ideas come to life right now.

And making good money.
Yeah, financially we’re doing good right now. And I only boast on it because I really want to put out great product. From there, the finances and the success will come but you put 100 percentin the work you do. And that’s what I do — no matter if it’s wildin’ out, acting crazy, hanging out with women, whatever it is – if it’s my job I’m gonna do the best at what I do.

And what about Envy, this new movie I’ve been hearing about?
I’m executive producing this movie that I did with Lisa Raye and Maia Campbell. It’s about Detroit hustling and gangs and [the city]. It’s coming straight to DVD.

How is Maia doing? There was a video that came out awhile ago, and she was all over the blogs. I know that she’s had some mental issues, and that since her mom died she was dealing with a lot of stuff emotionally.
Yeah, emotionally I think she was going through some things and I think that was just a point in her life when she was just going through some hard times. And you always need somebody to lift you up. Everybody has those times.

And she’s doing okay? Y’all are in touch?
I haven’t talked to her in a few months. I did try to reach out when I heard what was going on but I didn’t get a response, but my prayers go out to her and I’m sure everything will be cool with her in the future.

Did you see Oprah’s interview with Whitney? I know you two are friends. Have you been in touch with her since that interview?
Oh yeah, we talk all the time. I might see her when I go to Soul Train Awards in Atlanta, so hopefully I’ll have some time with her.

You saw the interview?
No, I didn’t watch it. If I know somebody I don’t really watch their interviews. I just kinda zone out. If there’s anything I wanna know I can just ask her personally. You know why I don’t like Bossip, because they say some foul things about my sister. You can go hard on me all day. I’m strong, I can take it. But don’t talk about my sister, it’s a problem. [Editor's note: What seems like an abrupt change of subject in the conversation was simply RayJ being sidetracked during the interview as he perused a post about his reality show on Bossip.]

I think every brother is like that.
Yeah, it’s like when I see it, it’s a problem, like, for real.

Some say she’s a celebrity – she knows that gossip is a part of the game.
Yeah, but don’t go so hard. Why you gotta be such a hater? Nobody did nothing to you. You’re just hating for the f*ck of it. You know what I’m saying? Let’s uplift people, let’s be positive.

What type of guy are you to girls you like?
Girls should know that I’m very humble and I’m very respectable and I like to have a good time but at the same time I have the utmost respect for women. My expectations for women are not just to get it crackin’ and have a good time on a one night type of thing. That’s not me. I respect my mama; I respect my sister. I got a little niece, and I love to respect women. I do that on my show. I don’t bash the girls on my show. I don’t bash them when I’m off the show and that’s just what I want people to know about me. I like to have fun but I have a respect level to women.

Do you cheat?
I’ve cheated before in my past relationships, but not in my new relationships. Locking in to my new relationships, I’m going in and I’m not going to cheat. And if I’m going to cheat and not be one on one with you, then I’m not gonna lock in.

What’s your definition of cheating?
Cheating is anything from getting somebody’s number and flirting on the phone to going and having sex with somebody especially if you have a one-on-one agreement with somebody else.

Is that a maturity thing? Are you just growing up?
Yeah, I think I’ve grown. You know, I’ve had my fun and I have my wild ways in life but I’m way more focused on business and on my projects and on being creative and on making money . That’s’ what I do now. My fun days I have done, I’ve paid my dues, I made my way. And now it’s just time for me to focus on all of the positive and creative things in store for me right now.

So, is it safe to say you’re in a relationship now? Now that the show has wrapped?
I can’t say what I am exactly but I can say that I respect you, and Honey, and everybody else out there.

Let’s get into you and your tricks in the bedroom…
I try to stay away from talking about sex, because I’m so overwhelmed with the whole sex thing that I want people to look at me in a different light.

Meaning…
When you think about RayJ, you think about sex. A lot of people do. I want people to think about me in a different way so I don’t even want to get into the whole sex talk.

Do you think it’s because of the tape? The show? Your music? Where do you think that image comes from?
It just took up a whole other lane. I don’t know why it’s like that but at the same time I focus on trying to be positive and trying to do positive things and get money. And how people look at me is important, so I don’t want to continue to be looked at as a sex addict.

So what’s the sexiest part of a woman?
Her mind.

Are you big on connecting with someone like that?
Gotta connect – mentally.

What things do you look for mentally?
Like a girl that’s just smart and talented and independent that definitely wants a man to look out and step up to be a man. But at the same time, she’s that woman that says I got you no matter what. I’m a woman and I got this. You should have it too, but I got this.

Do you like it when girls are smarter than you? Do you like to learn from them?
It don’t matter if a girl is smarter than me. If a girl is smarter than me, that’s gonna help us. I’m definitely secure with myself and what I do and if a girl is stronger or more talented or even more focused then I wanna match her and get to where she’s at. She’s my inspiration, she’s my everything.

Are there any deal breakers?
I don’t know. You want a girl that gets your attraction mentally and physically so that’s important. I like thick women. I like women with a lot of meat on their bones, and I like petite women. I’ve been with all types of different girls, different ethnicities, different styles — girls from Beverly Hills, girls from the ghetto.

Do you think having a dating show is going to undermine that goal to get away from the sex image? Or to find true love?
Its not about hurting it. It’s just about the things that will work with your craft. And I’m not trying to prove myself. I’m just trying to stay true to myself and I think the product and everything I put forth in the future will be in the forefront of everything about Ray J. Right now I have the dating show and after that it’ll be about two or three more shows coming under my umbrella as an executive producer, so all in due time. I think people will focus more on my executive producer hat and what I’m doing behind the scenes and how much success I’m generating for the channel I’m working for.

I know you were cool with Yung Berg. He’s been getting a lot of flack lately because of all the rumors that have been going around. He got into that altercation a couple of weeks ago. Have you talked to him lately?
No, I haven’t spoken to him. You know I wish Berg much success. And I don’t want him to let the media ruin his pride and him getting inspired to keep going. I think people make mistakes. As long as you learn from your mistakes, and grow stronger as an artist.

Why do you think it happened to him?
I don’t know. We did a song together and I believe in his work. I try to take fresh talent and try to bring them to the forefront and create a different world for everybody. That’s what Ray J is all about. I feel like I’ve taken a lot of people that nobody even knew about and now they’re soaring through the skies and I wish them the best. That’s what I like to provide for people. What they do after that I can’t control that.