Love got your panties in a bunch? Drop trou and @honeymag’s resident sexpert, will answer your juiciest questions. So get @Wale and spill it.
Wale: The irony in the pursuit of success is that once some of us achieve the dream we swore we wanted, the things that were important on the road to it tend to deteriorate — family, “friends” and often love.
When I was in early high school, I would chant nonsense like money over bitches. Looking back, I cringe. After failed relationships, failed “flings,” failed attempts at being a gigolo, player, or anything under that umbrella, I made a self declaration that 2010 will be the year of #thatthing. #thatthing is an absolute anomaly. It’s unexplainable. It soothes, it kills, it holds, it harms. It literally can grant life or death with one touch. And for this reason, many of us wear masks, metaphorically of course. Masks that cover insecurities. Masks that prevent #thatthing from capturing you in its relentless clutch. The fear of being hurt, for some, is far more important then the joy of being in love.
Women, how many men have you met who surround themselves around so many women, they wouldn’t be able to distinguish “the one” if she were right under his nose? I propose the same question to the dudes: Have you ever courted someone and did everything in your power to make her “open her eyes” (Bobby Caldwell x Common)? Yet she still wants to be in the club every other day or she tells you she doesn’t want commitment. That is her trying not to be vulnerable. That is the proverbial wall that can’t be penetrated because even the briefest daydream of #thatthing will send her into shock. #thatthing has the staring role in life’s movie. A nigga may have never experienced #thatthing, but his mother/father/sister/brother/teammate’s experiences may have been enough to instill the fear. A woman may never have experienced that thing, but her homegirl/bestfriend/play-cousin just may have made a fool of herself at a local club, go-go, movie theater or mall because of #thatthing.
I’ve decided to pursue monogamy this year because #thatthing is beautiful. I literally drove down South Dakota Avenue with a North Face coat (the big joint) some basketball shorts, a wifebeater, and Timberlands. (Nike boots were muddy) on a summer night, because I wanted to show her "how real these tears are."
Ladies, Gents — #thatthing don’t give a fuck what she/he looks like, either. Many of us have fallen victim to the I-can’t-believe-I-used-to-sleep-with-that-monstrosity syndrome. Another result of #thatthing. For fear of hurting someone’s feelings (and encouraging an angry woman to stalk me), let’s just say I once was so caught up in #thatthing, I looked past several character flaws (as well as physical) for an extended period of time.
I have to ask myself why. Is it the thrill of chase? Spending nights under the covers talking about nothing? Your partner is so “perfect” that just to hear their breath is the most tranquil feeling in the world (and completely trumps a quick nut from a jump-off.) Her sex is so good I look past the fact that she has no job, no car, no ambition, and no drive. Or ladies — maybe he f*%cks so good that you forget that he has six children and he’s only 25. The most proud can be publicly foolish. The shy guy can transform into the most outspoken. The moment your heart and hormones start to fight for control of your brain, you’re probably caught up in #thatthing.
My pursuit of #thatthing is a difficult one. I like to consider myself an unrecognizable famous person, meaning I can still do the things most 25-year-old employed black men can do, without too much attention. But at the same time, a lot of these women know who I am, (albeit never heard a song. LOL.) This is where the pessimism starts to creep in. And the paranoia that guides my judgment when exchanging numbers. Why does she want to talk to me? How long till she tells me she’s a model? I met Jay-Z in ‘99 he said he was gonna sign me. Can you ask him if we’re still good? Situations like this make the pursuit of #thatthing just as hard as shaking it off once acquired.
walemusic.com :: twitter.com/wale :: myspace.com/wale
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by DeeFab: RT @Wale: round 2 http://www.honeymag.com/2010/uncategorized/go-go-answer-wale/...
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[...] favorite sexpert did another piece for Honey mag giving his insight on love and relationships. Looks like Mr. Folarin is ready to settle down in [...]
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[...] Ladies, Gents — #thatthing don’t give a f*ck what she/he looks like, either. Her sex is so good I look past the fact that she has no job, no car, no ambition, and no drive. Or ladies — maybe he f*%cks so good that you forget that he has six children and he’s only 25. The most proud can be publicly foolish. The shy guy can transform into the most outspoken. The moment your heart and hormones start to fight for control of your brain, you’re probably caught up in #thatthing. Read more [...]
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[...] Oh…ok. Check out the rest of his interview here. [...]
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[...] Wale Pt. 2, “I’ve Decided To Pursue Monogamy This Year!” January 20, 2010 — Staff Writer Wale recently sat with Honey Mag again and continued to talk about the road in pursuit of success tends to deteriorate certain things, such as; family, “friends” and often love. – Flip and read on…. Wale On Love: When I was in early high school, I would chant nonsense like money over bitches. Looking back, I cringe. After failed relationships, failed flings, failed attempts at being a gigolo, player, or anything under that umbrella, I made a self declaration that 2010 will be the year of #thatthing. #thatthing is an absolute anomaly. It’s unexplainable. It soothes, it kills, it holds, it harms. It literally can grant life or death with one touch. I’ve decided to pursue monogamy this year because #thatthing is beautiful. Her sex is so good I look past the fact that she has no job, no car, no ambition, and no drive. Or ladies, maybe he f*%cks so good that you forget that he has six children and he’s only 25. The most proud can be publicly foolish. The shy guy can transform into the most outspoken. The moment your heart and hormones start to fight for control of your brain, you’re probably caught up in #thatthing. Continue reading… [...]
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[...] Dua, lead singer of the Bad Rabbits talks to Mr. Folarin about his single Pretty Girls, Gucci Mane, helping out for Haiti and his alleged Chris Cooley tattoos. Oh, and Wale is back on his Dr. Drew steez, he contributed yet another sex and relationship article to Honey Mag. You can read it here [...]
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[...] Hill performed #ThatThing live at the Raggamuffin Festival in Rotorua, New Zealand [...]
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[...] The hip hop Dr. Ruth perhaps? Leave a Comment No Comments Yet so far Leave a comment RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI Leave a comment Click here to cancel reply. Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <pre> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong> [...]
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[...] Hill performed #ThatThing live at the Raggamuffin Festival in Rotorua, New Zealand [...]
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[...] Wale’s Honey Mag Article [...]
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[...] and hormones start to fight for control of your brain, you’re probably caught up in #thatthing. Read more here Share and [...]
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[...] With that being said, he is actually a very intellectual individual and offered a pretty insightful view on love in this interview with Go-Go Answer.. [...]
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heyy.
omg! this is why I love him! when you listen to him….you can tell its deeper than rap…its him, his emotions, his heart…. i just love it.
You’re a great writer Wale. Another good piece. Keep em comin!
Aww I remember when i met Wale before he was signed…So nice, and didn’t even know who he was until i saw him on TV…Good Luck with everything.
WALE IS SO SO SO SO PURE! The Jill Scott of RAP! So real, so genuine. What a man! See, this is why I love my black men! So insightful, not a fraid to be vulnerable. This is just honesty at it’s best. He has a beautiful gift with words & I LOVE HIS MUSIC! But I think I’m starting to love Wale the person as well… I’ll definitely keep reading these articles so KEEP THEM COMING
Yo I feel what u sayin bout #thatthing man its good 2 hear this come from a Guy here I was thinkin that women only felt that way… Thanks 4 sharing…
So, how do you plan to find true love? I guess you’ll have be with a popular person like you.
Everything is so true..im sure everyone has experienced what you’ve written about and the article has made me more aware of the dynamics of relationships, whether it is true love or merely sexual.
Wale is the TRUTH!! I’m in pursuit of #thatthing and I know that 2010 will be my year as well. Keep the real talk coming, Wale! We need to hear it.
“A grown man can separate lust from love” – Wale hit the spot on this…thank u 4 this article, it really hit home 4 me.
Yes, Wale keep it coming. I love reading your words, you are very talented!
Let’s be real- I saw Wale at the club earlier this year and he was on stage saying, “Girls is grabbin on my belt buckle, but they gotta know if they grab my belt buckle they better be suckin on my d*ck.” He said 2 or 3 times.
So spare me. I’m sure he’s deep, but spare me.
WOW, This Was Deep! I love it!
really insightful….a lot of what he said really hit home.
@lets-be-real… I don’t think he denies any of that, thus he professes that “I’ve decided to pursue monogamy this year because #thatthing is beautiful.”