RULES:

1. Now, let’s be clear. Honey is not condoning irresponsibility. You better get these dudes tested and employ prophylactics every time. We’re dead serious. Don’t blame the trips to the clinic or project babies on Honey.

2. Not all of them get the kitty, but they all play a role. If you can handle it: build yourself a team. Just don’t be messy. The team shouldn’t know each other. Ever.

Here’s to starting line-ups that get the job done…

Small Forward: The “but he’s so sexy” one. You know the type. He’s cheap, but he’s so sexy. He’s broke, but he’s so sexy. He’s an idiot, but he’s so sexy. Take him out; show him off. Arm candy is best when there will be photo opps, but not necessarily when he’s expected to hold a conversation, so use him wisely.
Image Source

Tickets- Whether it is concert tickets or tickets to a game, give your man a night to enjoy himself. Going to see his favorite artist or sports teams will definitely make him happy. Just think; what if your man gave you tickets to see Trey Songz, Maxwell, Janelle Monae, or Erykah Badu; you wouldn’t stop smiling; therefore neither will he.

Image Courtsey of armcotton.com

Remember sleepovers, giggling girly talk, gummy bears, and the latest Molly Ringwald VHS? In a room full of teen angst there was at least one designated home girl – the one who told you that you were trippin’ falling for the wannabe thug, who wiped your tears when your heart was broken, who would simply say, “Um, no girl” when you tried to make green velvet spandex and an orange scrunchy (think side ponytail) work. But life isn’t as simple as Girlfriends, Sex and the City and Waiting To Exhale would have you believe. Before you know it, life kicks into overdrive and “girl time” hardly happens.

It’s difficult coordinating schedules filled with date nights and work appointments, but regular ladies’ nights out — nouveau or traditional —  are a must. Below are Honey’s compiled suggestions to hold onto  that sister to sister bonding time.

1.Text, Tweet, Type: The digital age is among us and with all this technological software at our disposal there is no reason you can’t K.I.T. Send your friend a few text messages during the day. Write an email to her. Stay connected via Twitter, where you can still enjoy sharing the blow by blow of each day with her through Twitics and its location tracker.

2. Coffee Run: If your friends are local, set a time where you can meet at a café or coffee spot in between your neck of town and hers. A little caffeine can jar up a whole thirty minutes down memory lane.

3. Skype: If you can’t make that quick java run, set up a time every other day where you can sit in front of your computer and chat. All you have to do is download the application onto your PC or laptop.

4. Ladies Night In: For women that are drained from their workweek, sometimes it’s nice to just stay in. Call up a few of your homies, rent all those tapes that he won’t watch, and dish over sushi and sake. Instead of playing “Never Have I Ever,” spill a secret or a dirty deed you did that week.

5. Passion Parties: Whether your girl’s man is waiting at home or her beast is in hibernation, a good passion party includes everyone. Pop the champagne and let the laughter, the recommendations and the demonstrations commence. Rotate the host house once a month, and have guests bring hors d’oeuvres. For the one that’s a little uptight, convince her to participate by choosing an organization that donates a portion of the proceeds to charity.

6. Business Ventures: We know, we know, you have no time. But why not turn your hobbies into money-makers? Whether it’s a catering company for the foodie in your life or a jewelry company for the creative one, think of all the time you’ll spend with your bestie. Time might be money, but it’s memories, too.

Image Courtesy of the Cleveland Show blog

Not all sexual relations include doing the horizontal dance. Here is an introduction to a new Honey Mag Series about taking the higher road on the path to pleasure.

When experienced men size up a prospective honey dip, one of the most important assets on her body that they marvel at is a bit above the belt. After finishing their obligatory visual body cavity search, they size up her mannerisms, movements and most importantly her mind. Courtship calls for large amounts of mental stamina.

Many believe that what men want most from women is control over their minds. While other men are just in search of a compatible sparing partner to be mentally intimate with. In any case, after the initial jolt to lower regions has come and gone, what sustains a strong connection is the meeting of the minds.

Mind sex is one of the most important elements in a relationship, fling or one night stand. The virginal and celibate can even appreciate this form of fornication. Head to head is a universal sex position that most can relate to. It’s the same in every language.

Partaking in metaphor play and slippery simile mental sexcapades results in the highest form of arousal. It is convenient because you can do it with your clothes off or on, in a crowded room with people watching or in private. There aren’t many limits to the benefits that come from being cerebrally kinky.

Take note that there is a difference between mind sex and being mind f*cked. One is consensual, while the other is a blitz attack on the mind with a plan on getting control over the rest of the body. The latter deals with control more than a genuine interest in getting to know or enjoying time with someone.

Yes, mind sex is one of the most beneficial aspects of courtship yet caution should be exercised to an extent. Use protection when partaking in mind sex. It can easily spiral out of control and your personal power becomes puddy in the other’s hands.

This week’s confession: “What are your top three summer romance jams?”

What do you guys think? If you had to list one current summer jam as your favorite love song, what would it be? Soundoff below!

Rules For Entry

1. Follow @BitchClub AND @HoneyMagazine on Twitter.

2. Tell us below in 200 words or less: Is “Bitch” really the new black? Why or why not?

3. Once you’ve responded, hit us up on Twitter using hashtag #BITNB so we can retweet your responses. Best three answers win a free copy!

Get more information by visiting Helena at www.bitchisthenewblack.com

At this point in history, it’s no big secret that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was not always as faithful to his wife Coretta as he was to the Civil Rights Movement. One needs to look no further than the FBI Documentation that currently exists online as well as numerous reputable news sources and personal accounts to confirm this truth. In this piece, I [Rhymefest] don’t want to rehash old theories on why the infidelity occurred, nor do I want to dishonor his heroic humanitarian accomplishments. To the contrary, I would like to show how even through a man’s personal shortcomings, he can be the leader of his household, keep his family together and still accomplish his mission.

Stitching together some facts that I’ve gathered through reading accounts of Dr. King and Coretta, I would like to revisit what the conversation must’ve been like when Coretta first received confirmation of her husband’s infidelity. Keep in mind, the FBI sent sex tapes and pictures to her home. This conversation will be a dramatization of their interaction when he first walked through the door, probably from an out of town SCLC meeting/rendezvous:

As soon as King walks through the door, he feels the energy in the house. It’s not peaceful and he doesn’t know why yet. Coretta’s sadness turns into anger, however as “the good preacher’s wife” she’s learned by now how to hold her tongue. King walks into the kitchen where she’s holding the same dish that she’s been washing for the last ten minutes. He looks to the kitchen table where he sees the same envelope that was sent to him only a few days ago. He knows what it is.

King: I apologize, Coretta.

Coretta: No need to apologize, Martin. You know I know you and everything that you do. All those pictures do is hurt your mission more. You’ve already broken my heart more than once.

Martin walks over to the table to pick up the envelope.

Coretta: DON’T TOUCH IT, LEAVE IT THERE! I SWEAR IF YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE, LEAVE THAT ENVELOPE RIGHT THERE. I WANT YOU TO SEE IT EVERY TIME YOU WALK IN THIS ROOM…

Ten years ago, it was unacceptable for rappers to sing on their own track. Today, in order to be commercially successful, the singer-rapper hybrid is damn near mandatory.

Five years ago, black women openly shunned and condemned black men seen walking with a white woman. Well, some things just don’t change.

What is this secret war between black and white women over who gets the black athlete, actor or businessman? I understand that 50 percent of all U.S. prisoners are black males, and a lot of those who have escaped prison find themselves unemployed (especially in this economy) or bogged down with one or two baby mothers. It seems like the few fully viable black men who’ve managed to gain success, education and wealth are African lions: visible but endangered of extinction. Some black women are increasingly frustrated that they are passed over for white women who they don’t feel can culturally relate, nurture, or respect their partner’s position in society. On the other hand, some white women candidly reveal that they feel like black women are bitter, selfish and socially defiant. And while all of these are stereotypes, whether true or false, they are still common ideas held by each side.

I once heard a black woman say that the relationship between black men and women in America is a very sick one that needs to be quarantined and healed before we expose the virus to others. So for a brief second, let’s explore this alleged sickness between black men and women.

1. Not knowing how to talk to each other respectfully.
2. At the bottom of the social ladder, competing with one another rather than collaborating (eager to prove the other wrong).
3. Historic collective low self-esteem and self-hatred breeding contempt in our familiarity with each other.

I am the queen of Robocoping. It has ruined/saved many relationships. My boyfriend’s email accounts, Facebook page, cell phone, pockets, wallet, drawers, closet, glove compartment (hey, you never know), and notebooks are never safe when I’m around.

I blame technology. With the popularity of social networks (friendfeed, Twitter), it’s not only tempting but super easy to track your honey’s every move. What did Robocops do before they could invade someone’s personal space via Myspace? Did they simply rely on a gut feeling? Not good enough. Fortunately(or unfortunately?) it’s 2009. A “lead” from a flirty tweet or questionable Facebook comment can lead you straight to hard evidence: Did I just see a suggestive smiley face in a reply text message? Oh, it’s on!

Of course, smart Robocops should live by the code, “never ever admit your actions”, but since secrecy has never been a strong point, I’ve always plead guilty to the crime — even if I didn’t have concrete or damaging evidence. Ladies, please, learn from my mistakes. Unless you’ve found evidence that will completely outweigh how bad your snooping was, remain silent. I’ve read enough self-help books to know that the urge to snoop usually comes from a history of heartbreak. But the truth is, sometimes suspicions arise when there’s indication that all is not OK and you’re just curious.

In the end, though, curiosity always kills the dog. When you start snooping where you don’t belong, you’re bound to find something that’ll upset you. If you dig deep enough you’re guaranteed to find some dirt. I’ve heard that snoopers are cheaters as well. Guilt has a way of making you paranoid and thus possessive.

So, is snooping a no-no? It depends. I always feel a stab of regret after every Robocop overdose. Then, just like any addict, I promise to get help before an inevitable relapse.

If you simply can’t shake the need to snoop, it’s probably your own insecurity. Only some serious soul-searching (preferably on an island with a Mojito in hand) will give you insight to your paranoia. On the other hand, if you’re normally a secure, sane person and something in your gut is telling you the relationship isn’t quite right, you should listen to your intuition…and invest in some serious spyware.

A wise man once said ‘the blind shouldn’t lead the blind.’  Rightly so, the divorced and single probably shouldn’t lead those looking for the right one to put a ring on it either.  Yet, when Tyler Perry and fellow cast of Why Did I Get Married, Too (in theatres April 2nd) were asked, “Why get married?” shoulder shrugs and giggles were the response.  “I can’t answer that because I’m not [married],” Mr. Perry answered.  “And most people here (referring to cast) have been through a divorce. Our parents were married 30 and 40 years but our generation – we are just a little different.” Even Janet Jackson admitted, “I’m really the wrong person to ask I’ve been married twice and divorced twice.  I don’t think I should be answering the question.”

Luckily Tasha Smith, soon to be married, stepped into the role of resident expert.

Smith shared with Honey about her new hubby to be and how you can get and keep yours.  Because he is out there.  She promises.

Honey Magazine: Why get married?
Tasha Smith: Get married so you can have love, partnership, and a best friend for the rest of your life.   I’m going to get married at the end of the year.  I cannot wait.  He’s so sweet.  He’s my buddy and he’s ride or die too.

Where did you meet him?
One of my friends set me up on a blind date and it’s been love ever since.  He is amazing and beautiful.  He’s the handsome man sitting in the back with the suit and tie on.  He’s just a beautiful black man.

Has this relationship changed you?
I didn’t believe in love like that.  I didn’t think it existed.  I thought it was a fairytale dream—Alice in wonderland that would never happen.  And I’m telling you, it is a miracle that I am experiencing the desires of my heart.   He taught me how to believe in love and how to trust.

To all the single ladies out there, how can they find the one?
First of all women need to see the movie He’s Just Not That in to You, because for real for real we waste our time with people who are just not that into us.  And you know how we think we are just going to change his mind and change his heart.  Get him to see that we are that woman that he can be with for the rest of his life.  He’s either into you or he is not.  And get rid of him if he aint so you can be open for the one who is.  And you’ll know it because you won’t have to question because he’s going to do everything that your heart desires.   And I’m learning that.

Are there really women out there like the character you play, Angela, who demand their man’s phone password?  What’s your advice to those women?
Hell yeah! They are just crazy and out of control. They need to stop trippin’ and stop living in fear because fear will distort and pervert your perception.

What are your top trade secrets for finding a man and keeping him?
1. Food… food and food! (She giggles in that new love kind of way)

2. Don’t be Afraid to Let Go
I was going out with this guy and I remember there were things happening within the relationship where I just said you know what this ain’t it and be okay with it.  And I remember he called me up one day and I said you know you can really stop pursuing me because I am no longer interested.  But you know sometimes as women we just want to hold on to him as long as we can and when I cut it off there was a freedom.

3. Tell the friends and family to mind their business
We have to learn how to love each other, trust each other, and encourage each other and support each other. And not let our friends get in our business.  And don’t let our families rule our relationship.

4. Trust and trust God.  Keep God in the middle of it.  It may sound like a cliché but it works.

5. Spend Time and Nurture
We believe in spending time to nurture and develop our relationship.  Whether it’s going on vacation, going to the movies, me cooking for him, him cooking for me and he loves my cooking.  Church—us praying together.

6. Be Spontaneous
Keeping finding that spontaneity within the relationship.  Always come up with something to do, even if you have to look in the paper to see what’s happening that weekend.  Get out of the house.  Go and enjoy life.

7. Take your Man out of the boyfriend category. Put him in the best friend category!
It’s like we can find more things to do with our girlfriends than we can do with our mates.  If it was just you and your girlfriend you’re going to hang out and do and think and why not make your man that person.  Stop putting him in the man—the boyfriend category and put him in the best friend category.